today my sister asked me for a glass of cold water and i sarcastically asked her “how cold” and she said “as frigid as your love life”
cantankerouscrab:
hi hello if you’re reading this i hope something good happens to you today
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(I am working a morning shift at a cafe. We are serving breakfast. A little boy and his mother enter the cafe.)
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Me:
“So, what will it be?”
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Child:
“I WISH TO DEVOUR THE UNBORN.”
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(There is a sudden silence and everyone turns to look. The mother looks very embarrassed.)
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Mother:
“Eggs… he would like some eggs…”
jumbo4live:
…
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I don't even know how to describe my blog or myself. I have plenty of flaws but I also have plenty of good things about myself and I wouldn't change a thing. Enjoy. -Brooke
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